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"adventure is just bad planning."

roald amundsen

By 默默富酷

October 29^th, 2016

the plan

segments were first published on my instagram between 26 to 28 november.

the plan was not to plan, head to a town in our northern sibling malaysia and make our overland trip back to singapore - by train, inter-state bus or a truck transporting pineapples. that was the half-baked idea i threw to mel two days before what we considered might be an adventure, and he agreed to the plan. he took the bait. and i couldn’t back out either.

so we got ourselves two one-way plane tickets to the once glorious tin mining town of ipoh, ready for our 60 hours roadtrip.

the end

in retrospect, it was kinda high and dry. well, that was how the adventure was - we didn’t do our overland trip (inter-state bus and rail tickets were sold out because of the diwali festival).

we ended up spending the 60 hours circling an almost repeated routine of waking up, hunting for food, terrorizing some locals for photos, eating, napping, checking out sunburnt marks, more eating (force feeding to be exact) and drinking at a local bar till our visions were dizzy.

that routine did allow us to encounter some rather charming and quirky characters (besides my traveling companion).

"amalingam"

amalingam (maybe he meant the common name ramalingam) sells kacang puteh along the street of jalan bandar timah. while the name kacang puteh (literally meaning white nuts - nothing to do with a swim in the freezing waters) refers to sugar coated peanuts, the term is essentially bombay mix - a spice mix of fried lentils, peanuts, chickpea flour noodles, corn, vegetable oil, chickpeas, flaked rice, fried onion and curry leaves. a small packet of the snack sets one back at myr1. a steal if you ask my opinion.

amalingam converse with us in bahasa and asked us to give him a photo if we visited ipoh again. mel went to a nearby photo studio and made him a print. a simple print left three of us with smiles.

amalingam showing off his cart full of kacang puteh.

"tong"

tong inherited this press printing facility from his grandmother. a portrait of her hang on the right - i was mesmerized with her traditional ah ma outfit. his printing press is no longer in operation for several years now but he diligently opens his shop daily. he did not allow me to enter the area where the press machines were because there were past incidents of visitors stealing the letters from his type case.

the shop was any ocd’s nighmare, with books and papers heaved across the tables, typesets laying on aged scarred work-benches, and buckets of print ink caked in the brushes lined randomly along the walkway. for those of you ocd reading this now, the alphabets were co-mingled with the numbers in the typecase.

tong and mel having a conversation about tong's children in singapore and kl.

"eddie"

eddie teo first invited us into his shop because he caught us peering in. eddie told us he wanted to sell his shophouse - a very charming peranakan-styled two storey shophouse - for 1.6m myr. he even promised mel a commission if he can broker a deal. eddie did not want his photo taken because of his trade.

eddie is the proprietor of guan hoe company and deals with arms - mainly hunting guns and ammunition. he had an armory, probably sparsely stocked with ammunition, at the back of his shophouse. he also showed us his private collection of kris knives, which handles’ were made with the rarest wood in malaysia.

we spent some time chatting with eddie - ranging from how he was the champion of a shooting competition back in the 70s, and one of his customer got fatally shot in his head and ribs during a recent hunting trip, how perak is now of the top places to visit according to lonely planet, to the stories of the many photos of hunters and their game (massive boars the size of a small elephant, antelopes, and other forest creatures).

as we were about to depart, eddie drew us a map to a local coffee shop which apparently served the best kopi in ipoh.

i hope to meet eddie one day, once i am able to find that 1.6m myr spare change i have lying around.

eddie wanted to frame the newspaper article that states perak is now one of top 10 places to visit.

eddie drawing the map and listing the must eats at the kopitiam

"MAHESH"

that is probably not his name but i think he looks like a mahesh. he said he has been coming to this coffeeshop since he was 15 years old. for the two times we saw him, it was lunchtime. he was seated at the same table and chair near the chinese altar at the rear of the kopitiam (coffeeshop). his motorcycle helmet will be placed at the window latch.

his order - kopi-c (coffee with carnation milk).

"the breakfast gang"

we chanced upon this breakfast gang of geriatrics in one of the back alleys at kampung simee (狮美). we originally wanted to document the market but ended having a session with a group of retirees, one (uncle wong who is not pictured here but the next story) of whom mel had a chat with earlier about a local pancake. the group invited us to join them for morning tea and they shared stories of their younger days.

uncle huang: he did not utter a single word but offered his old school mobile phone when we wanted to call for a taxi back to town.
uncle siah: he shared about using lee & lee (a law firm in singapore) for a court case against his previous employer in kuala lumpur.
uncle wong: he bought us tea and was teasing the lady serving the tea, whom she screamed “hamusp” and we all shared a chuckle.

l to r: uncle huang, uncle siah, uncle wong

"uncle sate & uncle wong"

uncle wong and uncle sate, he is actually a wong but was referred to that as he owned a famed sate- skewered meat stall, suggested we try what was allegedly the best chicken horfun in ipoh. uncle wong rode his motorcycle home for his car and drove us to the breakfast location at selasar tebing kinta 5.

as uncle wong is a regular there, we managed to land our bowls of noodles a lot faster than the others. the bowl of slippery noodles drenched in a reduced stock made from chicken, pork and other secret ingredients was awesome. we also had a sharing plate of 油煎米粉 (deep fried noodles) which was also ethereal.

mel and myself were blessed with their generosity and companionship for that morning.

uncle sate breaking out in laughter when teased about his fame of his sate (skewered meat) business

uncle sate and uncle wong bring mel and myself for breakfast

"teochews"

an elderly lady having her muah (rice porridge) at a teochew restaurant called yew ming restaurant. teochew restaurants are not common in ipoh as a majority are cantonese or hainanese. this lady was eating alone and seemed to think she knew us. we were told she suffered from dementia.

she asked if i was a teochew. three times.

the current boss is a second generation owner and he mentioned that teochew is not commonly spoken as most spoke cantonses in ipoh, and his current command of the language is sub-par.

i wanted to return here for lunch but never did.

teowchew ah ma having her morning breakfast of a bowl of rice porridge

current proprietor of the teowchew restaurant

"see hum"

while walking towards a non-descript zichar (similar to japanese omakase, only cheaper and more relaxed) stall for lunch at kampung piandang, we met this man who was un-shelling seehum (blood cockles) and preparing jellyfish.

we proceeded to have lunch of a plate of flower clams, quick stir fry of chicken and bitter gourd and a rehydrated pork and vegetable soup - all for myr 27.

"香叔"

this prayer incense uncle asked me while inhaling his draw of dunhil.

“is it illegal in singapore for an university graduate to marry someone who had only primary school education?”, he asked.

“no”, i replied with a chuckle.

“must be he wanted to dump her and made it up”, he continued.

awkward pre-breakfast conversation.

"mapiupo"

“why are you making photos?” she asked.

“in singapore, i’ve only seen golf clubs in car boots. it is rare to see people selling newspapers from the boot of a car.” i explained. i asked if she had won the lottery (ma piu po is the lottery results in cantonese) while she was checking the results and she said no.

“maybe tomorrow”, i said as i bid farewell.

"alfred perera"

alfred perera is the second generation owner of sinhalese bar and he inherited the business from his sri-lankan father. a portrait of alfred’s father hung at the entrance to the kitchen.

this bar is one of the oldest bar in malaysia and is over 85 years old. we went to the bar two nights in a row (well, ipoh is practically dead after 5pm). the bar is charming with pink interior and a western bar exterior, and chinese privacy screen (such screens were traditionally used by ladies for changing) and marble top table tops and jade-grained chairs. behind the privacy is the bar filled with various whiskeys and hard liquor. alfred is buddhist and he also worships chinese gods such as the fulushou (prosperity, status, longevity).

most of the patrons were middle-aged indians. one told me a typical night will include a small bottle of white label (dewar whiskey) and a bottle of anchor beer.

i am certain i will be visiting sinhalese bar at least once every week if it is a lot closer to where i stay.

alfred in front of his bar, he is a buddhist and also worships chinese gods - including the fulushou on the bottom left

the calendars work as a privacy screen for those seated at the bar counter

one of the groupies sharing a bottle of dewar's white label - a bottle costs myr 22.50

he is wrapping up the evening with a bottle of anchor after finishing his white label whiskey

the helper of the bar reading her palm while waiting for customers.

the helper scooping up goat curry for a patron.

the exterior of the bar features a western bar swing door.

"chan"

i think he is a chan. he looks like a chan. chan helps people write and type letters, fill up forms. he operates from his van parked outside the central mosque, every monday to friday. i saw the following chinese words he scribbled in his 2009 diary.

远看医院像天堂，近看医院像银行，走进医院是牢房，不如提前去预防

i am not even attempting to translate this.

"..."

he never spoke a word each time we visited. he was aware of our presence but never maintained eye contact nor attempted to converse. neither was he adverse with us being in his shop.

he worked alone. while working, he would have a stick of unlit cigarette clinging on the side of his lips. occasionally, he would light the fag and inhaled one or two puffs before extinguishing the cigarette with his thumb and index finger. when done, he flicked the butt outside his shop into a growing pile of cigarettes.