"早起きは三文の徳"

japanese proverb

By 默默富酷

October 31^st, 2015

my disneyland

“早起きは三文の” - the early bird gets the worm or for the pessimist, the early worm always gets eaten. tsukiji, in my biased and unqualified opinion, is the happiest place on earth. it is pure magic - bodies (of tuna) are sawed up, cash vanish into thin air and you will almost levitate after eating a tray of uni. this is the show if david copperfield was a fisherman.

this place is the disneyland for pescetarians - the wonderland of all undersea pleasures, including the endangered yet oh-so-delicious, mercury-filled yet oh-so-delicious, expensive yet oh-so-delicious bluefin tuna. did i mention oh-so-delicious yet?

yes, i am politically incorrect when it comes to otoro. i am reducing my consumption slowly though - since tokyo is so damn far away.

tuna auction

everyday, hundreds of delicious carcasses are transacted at this market. bad news is that these sites are off-limits to everyone, except if
(a) you work here. which means you have a cap that screams in japanese the establishments you work in. and you wear white rubber boots.
(b) you follow the official guided tour. which means you agree to wear a really ugly green vest and stand in a cordoned area to watch the auction. trust me, this is slightly less dignified than the dead fish. only slightly.
(c) you want to buy one whole tuna for dinner because you are either jabba the hut or just a show off. it is just 1.8 big m’s of spare cash anyway. just a little more expensive than silver by weight.

there are two main sites for the tuna auctions - the fresh and the rock frozen. i guess it is japanese courtesy to separate the recently dead and the really dead.

seeing the tuna auction

there are three ways:
(a) wake up at 3am and join the official tour with 59 other people. wear the green vest of shame.
(b) or look for this guy.
(c) or bribe me with otoro.

other auction sites

unknown to many, tsukiji hosts many other auctions - from the live fish, frozen seafood, vegetables & fruits and the highly elusive uni auction. trays of sea urchin ovaries are inspected and transacted daily. legend had it that one tourist dipped his finger into one of these pre-auctioned trays and after that no foreigners are allowed anywhere near this secretive cold room. i guess the merchants are so pissed they wanted to even ban foreigners mentioning about the existence of this auction location.

other auction sites #2

if for some sheer luck you are able to witness these auctions, please do not
(a) interfere or disturb those working (they have sharp instruments)
(b) use flash photography (they have sharp instruments)
(c) touch any produce (they have sharp instruments)
(d) infer that i encourage you to visit these sites (i have sharp instruments)

other auction sites #3

and if you happen to see these 2 bald men, say hello. i never tried it and always wondered if they will become violent.

wholesale market

like the auction sites, this is off-limits to everyone. at least till 9am. this is the area where whole tunas are loaded into merchant areas to be cut into blocks for restaurants.

there are many trucks and carts here.
there are many sharp knives and saws here.
there are many merchants with little tolerance during rush hour.
there are many lanes littered with ice and slime.

when any two or three of the above mix, blood will be shed.

WHOLESALE MARKET #2

did i mention blood will be shed? perhaps i suggest you go start queuing at one of the many really good sushi-yas or eateries and return to the wholesale market at 9am.

breakfast for champions

screw breakfast at tiffany’s. i don’t even know what that is. i went in the store once and they told me they only serve jewellery.

this is the real deal. go into one of the sushi-yas. if you have time, head to sushi dai.

order the omakase. order a vase of sake. order a hotate wrapped with seaweed. say hello to the three incredibly friendly chefs.

do that even if you are bleeding despite me advising you not to visit the wholesale market before 9am.

sushi dai

show the chefs these photos. you won’t get to cut queue. you won’t get an extra piece. you won’t get any discount.

i tell you what you might get. an awkward moment.

alternative eateries

if you are lazy to queue (quitter) or sushi is not your thing (weirdo), head over some of the few coffee houses for a cup of warm liquid caffeine and pork cutlet sandwich. or go to one of the less crowded seafood houses.