"まな板の上の鯉"

japanese idiom

By 默默富酷

October 7^th, 2018

disneyland no more

"まな板の上の鯉" - a koi (carp) on the cutting board which is used to describe when situations are doomed. this is best used to describe tsukiji fish market - the disneyland for pescetarians.

koi is a symbol of luck, prosperity and good fortune in japanese (also chinese and those weird aquarists) cultures. despite various efforts in the forms of delays and protests, the market was doomed to end its 80+ years of history and was closed yesterday on 6th Oct 2018.

koi is seldom consumed as food in japan, the idiom itself is also a red herring (pun alert). likewise the move of the fish market from tsukiji to toyosu seemed to have a motive that deeper than the commonly quoted ones - 2020 olympics, ageing facilities, prime real estate and the increasing hordes of pesky visitors (including me).

i don't understand the move of the market for olympics though. lets destroy a century worth of history by moving 2km east for an event that lasts 3 weeks - surely that wouldn't make a lot sense, right? it gets more bizarre, like japanese anime, the latest plan was to convert the vacated site into a temporary parking site during the olympics. come on, at least hold the inaugural olympics competitive hotdog eating here. don't google, i made that event up.

despite my affection for this wonderland, it is not my place as a gaijin to be critical or nostalgic of the move. at least, i was fortunate enough that i was able to make a final trip and witness its last month of operations.

uni auction site

うに (uni - sea urchin) and tuna are like 皇后 (empress) and 貴嬪 (1st concubine) of a sushi omakase meal to what is the emperor's harem in the qing dynasty. corresponding, the uni auction is a less well-known and correspondingly less intruded by outsiders.

uni cold room

behind the uni auction stand is the sacred ground where it is probably the world's highest density of sea urchin. this is the largest mass display of the carefully extracted gonads of underwater land mines in the world. which explains my presence there, everyday to witness nicely laid out decapitated sexual genitals .

at up to 4ok yen per kilogram for the average grade or up to 100k yen per box for the highest grade, this place is probably more expensive, per pound, than the tuna auction. but again, don't take my mathematics credential for it - i did not do very well for calculus.

i have always wanted to document the cold room and i am grateful i managed to steal some glances after more than a decade since my obsession of visiting tsukiji.

fresh fish auction site

if uni is what is 貴嬪 to the seafood auction universe, then the fresh fish auction will be the 淑妃 of that parallel dimension. i have no idea what 淑妃 meant, the chinese characters looked complicated enough to pass me off as though i passed my mother-tongue classes in school.

the hommies at this site are typical 江戸っ子 (eddoko) - short-tempered, rushed and always ready to get on for a fist fight, even without influence from alcohol. only the folks over at the tuna site are a tad more aggressive (towards tourists).

these men rarely smile or joke, always smoking and occasionally swearing. for all fairness, if i work here and always get wet from splashing flounders and watching blood from 活け締め (ikejime), i would be grumpy too.

frozen tuna auction site

pre-auction and auction access to the tuna auction sites are off-limits since mid september (technically, this place is always off-limits sans the official tour), so i only visit after the auction bell is laid down. once the auction ceases, the guards end their shifts and everyone is busy in sorting and transporting the frozen torpedo fish - they have less time for me.

while much of the auction etiquette and culture will be also moved to toyosu, there will be differences that i was told:

auctions will be observed from behind glass panels. it will be like an aquarium, except the instead of live fish, one will be watching frozen carcasses. i wonder if they will sell garrett caramel popcorn over the new site.
there will no longer be any more forklifts to move the frozen tuna. that is because the new site isn't designed to accommodate these machines. i don't think the hand pulled wooden trolleys will be featured at toyosu too.

i really really really really really hope there will not be any l.e.d. panels displaying auction prices at the new site, like noryangjin market in seoul. it will be a new low.

fresh tuna auction site

quoting from my past article of the tuna auction sites

"there are two main sites for the tuna auctions - the fresh and the rock frozen. i guess it is japanese courtesy to separate the recently dead and the really dead."

over the years, the space allocated to fresh tuna is drastically reduced to a pathetic corner of the tuna sites. i assume this is due to the declining stock of fresh tuna arriving daily. security here is almost military grade and i have long abandoned camping here for photos.

intermediate wholesalers site

to understand the role of the wholesalers, here is a quick primer on the supply chain of the market:

producers: they catch or breed the product. their existence are often not mentioned in the final product. they are the interns/associates of the corporate world.
wholesalers: there are 7 authorized families. they sell the goods consigned to them. surprisingly, seafood has the lowest commission at 5.5% (the highest is flowers at 9.5%).
intermediate wholesalers: they buy from the wholesalers and sell to authorised buyers and individual buyers (e.g. chefs) at the market.
authorised buyers: usually retailers or supermarket agents - they buy from intermediate wholesalers and even directly from wholesalers.
traders: they sell market related items around the uogashi yochoko area. originally trading with the wokers in the market for items like boots and knives, these days the traders are selling souvenirs or replaced with sushi-yas for the droves of tourists.
consumers (aka suckers): that's us. see the layers of markup of that otoro nigiri sushi you are popping in your mouth? i think the japanese term is 嫌な
tokyo metropolitan government: while they are not to be blamed for the markup due to the supply chain, i think these are the folks who okayed the move. their responsibility in the market includes hygiene and fair play - sounds like my rugby teacher.

access for general public is after 11 a.m. (used to be 9 a.m.) unless you are a rockstar chef from a michellin-starred restaurant or if you carry a bamboo shopping basket like me. i got the 4 liter basket if you must know.

uogashi yochoko site

魚河岸 (uogashi) means fish bank - that is the original name of the fish market prior to 1923 great kantō earthquake. come anytime to queue several hours to eat at the famed sushi dai or daiwa.

or better still. have a cup of brew and crack a soft boiled egg at 愛養 (aiyo) at 4 a.m. have an upside down bowl of gyudon at the oldest yoshinoya stall in the world.

oh, i forgot. uogashi yochoko is also gone along with the market.

you will be able to see crowds of tourists getting excited at the prospect of eating the best seafood at cheap prices. spoiler alert: the best seafood are sold at a premium to high end restaurants 5 miles down at ginza district. that said, the food here is still awesome.

end of ice-age

did i mention that the new market will be fully airconditioned to freeze pesky tourists away? it is a shame that the ubiquitous ice blocks and loading crushed ice into tuna coffins will be a thing of the past, like my six packs.

tsukiji architecture

after reading an architecture photography book , i was still uninterested and unskilled to make photos like that. i was waiting for breakfast after documenting the auction sites and hence these photos. buy that book, it is filled with images of places i did not stay in.

i don't produce books anymore so if you want a good one about the market, get this - it is in color.

the un-photographable

behind the tuna auction sites is a narrow alley. between 2am to 4am, there are many of the hardworking hommies here sharpening long maguro bōchō (long knives for cutting fresh tuna) and practicing tuna tail chopping using 斧 (axe). i have walked this lane numerous times, but failed to make a photo of the people here - both out of respect and aichmophobia (fear of them sticking the long blades into my neck).

diversity - the lack of

sorry ladies, diversity is not a necessary curriculum in the tsukiji school of auctioneers. the gender inequality is getting better but tsukiji is really where testosterone is the dominant scent. nakamura-san quipped casually (paraphrased) during our last walk together - "still quite sexist in this market, the ladies toilet is difficult to locate". and i thought the remoteness of the female toilets is to prevent the perv culture of hidden toilet cams.

that said, a mate told me that there were more women working now before my trip. i was suspicious because he was a lawyer (just kidding) but i did notice several shorties in the house - from the uni auction site, intermediate wholesalers site shucking blood cockles and carving tuna.

雑 (一)

雑 is miscellaneous, which in my slang, means i am too lazy to group or narrate the rest of these photos.

雑 (二)

first photo is the go-to guy whom i bought my daily canned boss coffee and boiled egg with salt.

雑 (三)

if you are still reading, you are becoming to realise how lazy i am with narrating the groups of images. if you want, i could scribe my favourite rap songs as i hum along.